They called him Machete.
Selling the harsh day for the hard one.
100 for ruffin.
Get in.
125 for accepting.
So which?
Have you ever killed anyone before?
As you may know
illegal aliens such as yourself
are being forced out of our country
at an alarming rate.
For the good of other people.
Our new senator must die.
And for that I will pay you $150,000.
Cash.
He was given an offer he couldn't refuse.
I cost the most.
Cause I'm the best there is.
Set up. Double crossed.
And left for dead.
I took a vow of peace.
And now you want me to help you kill all these men?
Yes, bro.
I mean paltry.
So what I can do?
He knows the score.
Where are my wife and daughter?
He gets the women.
And he kills the bad guys.
You know that a mexican day-labor
is a goddam federal?
But they soon realize.
He's coming after us.
They just fucked with the wrong Mexican.
Action.
Suspence.
Emotion.
Please father, have mercy.
God has mercy, I don't.
If you're gonna hire Machete to kill the bad guy
You better make damn sure the bad guy
... isn't you.
Machete.
Rated X.
Brought to you from your friends at the Weinstein Company.
The roofer is in the house.
God damn it, girls.
If you're gonna do that shit, do it on stage.
Smoking hot.
Cherry darling, I told you too many fucking times.
You can't be up there crying and all that shit.
You know what go-go dance is?
Useless talent No.12?
No. It's a happy dance.
You're up there and you dance happy. It's go go. Not cry cry.
I'm quitting.
You say that at least one night a week.
I mean it this time.
I need a dramatic change in my life.
I've always said you're funny.
But if you don't stop all that crying and shit I might have to fire your fucking ass.
And I don't wanna fire your ass 'cause I love looking at your ass.
Any girl leaving early must check out with their finger
and have a bye-bye slip.
Here is my finger.
And here is my bye-bye slip.
Dick.. Fuck.
Ass-fag.
All right boys. Come on.
All right. All right. Come on.
You guys know how to draw up.
Wait here, Lieutenant.
I'll handle this.
Hey, Abby.
I can see you've had a spot of trouble, bro.
Would you like to tell me what happened?
They escaped.
All three.
Yeah. I don't know... I don't know how they did it. Just they got...
I'm sorry Romey but I just don't trust you anymore.
And you know the rules.
I'm out. I swear, Abby, I'm.. You're not gonna see me anymore.
Not so fast.
I also want your balls.
I'm really quite attached to them.
Oh, sweetheart.
I was really attached to my specimens.
Now they're out there in the night doing God knows what.
I can't do it Abby. Please.. Please, Abby.
Hey. What are you doing? Fuckers. Son of a bitch. Abby!
Listen. You don't need, Abby.
There's more. There's more I can get you, Abby.
Everything.
Fucking fuzzy. Let me go you son of a bitch.
I can get you more. No no no. Ahh.
Pick this up please.
Where is the shit?
The shit's right there.
The deal is still good.
No. It's not.
Hell down on me.
Now I want all of it.
So can I get your brandered balls, Abby.
You're sucking that off?
So.
I ask you one more time.
Where's...
the...
...shit?
Everywhere.
Ah, bulls.
Get that thing away from my pumps.
It's just overheating.
I need to get to town.
It's just a stripped radiator cab.
Water leaks when the heat's up.
No pressure.
Are you OK?
I'm just Cherry.
Wanna have a seat anywhere? I'll be right in.
Here. Take this with you.
Ah, it's your good spring water.
Ain't nothing good about it. Bottled this myself.
I get it right there out of them.
Thanks... JT.
We're serving inside tonight.
Best barbecue in Texas. Round the clock.
I got to go.
Saving lives? Are you?
How did you know that?
Now that's a rump roast.
I couldn't get off work this week.
But you only have to stay till ten.
A friend of mine will be here before ten to pick up Tony.
I'm gonna eat your brains and gain your knowledge.
What did I tell you? No playing with toys at the table.
Didn't I tell you that? - Yeah.
There's a packed suitcase under his bed.
Give it to Tony to take with him when my friend picks him up.
I'll leave him watching TV.
But you need to be here in the next 20 minutes.
Thank you.
Hey, what happened to your tooth? - Fell out.
Say a prayer for your old man.
No dead bodies for dada tonight.
No dead bodies for Daddy tonight.
Amen. - Amen.
Who was that you were talking to? - Baby-sitter.
She's on her way.
How's it going, JT? - All right.
Still open I see. - Ah, yeah. All night.
Free of charge. Tonight is a special night.
What's so special about tonight?
Been open 25 years.
You're the second person to show up tonight.
Who's the first?
Right there.
Must be passing through.
Seeking only strangers, I hear.
Oh. yeah. You sure do.
By the way don't choke on all that food you eat.
Hello, Palomita.
I don't go by that name any more.
So
You will become that fancy doctor?
Never did.
Thought for sure you would.
Talked about it enough.
That's the problem with goals.
They become the thing you talk about instead of the thing you do.
That's my jacket.
I looked for it for 2 weeks.
Yeah? How long did you look for me, Wray?
Only the jacket belonged to me, you didn't.
So..
What are you doing now?
I'm going to be a stand up comedian.
Really?
You're not funny.
That's what I have been trying to tell everybody.
But they all say I'm hysterical.
But you are not.
There is a difference between being frank
... and being dick.
Yeah. Well... It was really good seeing you again.
Ah.. What name do you go by now?
In case I wanna catch one of your shows.
Cherry.
Cherry Darling.
It sounds like a stripper.
No, it sounds like a go-go dancer. There is a difference.
You'll always be Palomita to me.
I need a ride.
What do you say, El Wray?
I'll give you a ride.
Goodbye, Bill.
Which means 'See you later' ?
Of course.
Hey. What's up, Doc?
Your lady's looking pretty good there. We're gonna see..
See if she could suck the bend out of a river.
I'm kidding.
Take a look at that shit.
What happened to your arm?
I got bit.
Bit... By what?
Well.. If I told you, you probably wouldn't believe me.
It's some bacterium or something?
Can you just sew it up?
Normally, I would.
I'd even be doing something to stop the bleeding.
My problem is this one doesn't bleed.
Oh, shit. Check this out.
When this was still a military hospital, this one guy came back from Iraq with this.
Chronic herpetic lesions.
When he urinated, it came out through all these little holes here.
Kind of like a fountain.
Ah, Jesus.
How did you treat it?
Fuck that, I was never in Iraq.
Good for you.
This shit they spread around there you wouldn't believe.
I swear to God I got some Iraqi eye-balls
a friend of mine brought back to make some studies on.
Incredible. They were completely milked over.
Mustard gas does it to the eyes. Actuallly, I still have those in my fridge.
Spots fly you think?
Chronic viral astrut leason. That looks like gout.
He's running a temperature of 105.
Is that bad? - It's high.
Bad would be 108.
You could... have a seizure, go psychotic.
And probably die.
Say ahh. - Ahhh.
Ugh! Jesus!
Nice. Black abscess tongue.
All abscesses should be drained. Period.
Wait. I'll try it.
Shut up, Joe.
Baby. Get the needles.
Right there.
Right now. - Asshole.
It's spreading.
When did you say you got this bite? - Just now.
We gotta lose the arm, Joe.
Lose arm? What do you mean lose arm? My arm?
It's spreading all the way up to your shoulder.
Now if we don't sever that arm now it's gonna take over your chest.
We can't very well cut that off, can we?
Well shouldn't I get a second opinion?
Hi Joe.
I'm going to give you a very strong anesthetic.
So you don't feel anything during the procedure.
These are my friends.
My yellow friend
is just to take the sting off.
My blue friend
You'll barely feel.
That means my yellow friend has already taken effect.
See how fast my friends work?
And after my red-headed friend
You'll never see me again.
We all react differently.
Now what?
Dedicated to our own Jungle Julia. In loving memory.
It's not the radiator.
What? Fucking pale. It's a cheap..
Hey, hey!
Bastard.
Hey, stop.
Get off the fuckin' raoad, bitch.
No. Stop. Please.
What the hell was that?
People picking up roadkill.
What? Like an armadillo?
Deer.
There are a lot of hem around here.
You know I read a statistic that said
that the eating of venison has risen 30 percent in the last few years.
60 percent of that's from roadkill.
People eat roadkill?
If you are driving out here at 70 miles an hour..
And a deer darts out in front of you..
If you blink or brake or swerve..
Sure you'll just kill yourself.
So what do you do?
Pick them off. Just like this. Send them flying away from you.
Unacceptable.
Cherry?
I thought you said if you saw a deer you shouldn't fucking swerve.
That wasn't a deer.
Palomita.
Don't let her die on me, Block.
What we got?
Heavy contusions about the torso, possible spinal trauma.
One severed limb.
Where is the leg?
Three 'psychos' attacked her.
I shot at them.
I never miss.
They took the leg with them.
You have to come with us Wray. We need to talk about this, you know.
He has to sign her in.
Do what now?
If he's with her, he's responsible for her.
He'll fill this out after we talk. Let's go.
What were you doing with the rifle, Wray?
Nothing.
Just thinkin' about maybe doing some hunting when the season breaks.
Come on, Wray.
You know you are not supposed to be doing that stuff anymore.
Here, I stick my neck out for you.
Now you've got a girl in your wrecked truck with a missing leg?
A missing leg? It's now missing?
And here you're saying in front of everybody
that someone up and snathced it?
And that you shot at 'em with a gun
that you never should have had in the first place?
And that now they're gone.
Sheriff, can we finish this conversation somewhere else?
My thought exactly.
Dr. Block. Three fresh ones rolling in.
Christ, you're kidding.
Automobile accident off Highway 18.
DOA's? Get the lady to pick him up.
That's unsanitary, Doc.
It helps me monitor my state of calmness.
If you get worked up enough to crack it.
Fuck. - You might cut yourself pretty good.
Then I'd know I was not calm.
Yeah. What do you say now, Doc?
Somebody call my wife.
It's JT, Sheriff.
JT. How is the barbecue business?
Ever since my bastard landlord raised the rent, it's going shit.
Well, I'm sorry to hear about that.
I wish there was something I could do.
Right now I ain't calling my brother. I'm calling the sheriff.
What's the trouble? - It ain't no trouble, not yet anyway.
I've got two delinquents been hanging around here for over an hour.
They won't purchase. They won't leave.
Oh never mind. Here they come.
You cook that meat at 250 degrees, don't you?
I don't remember. I set the heat with my hand.
You give me that recipe or I'll raise your rent higher than a georgia pine.
Brother, ain't no Texans ever gonna give you his barbecue recipe.
That's a fact. He'd take it to his grave.
I could be bleeding like a stuck pig I ain't gonna tell you.
I could be dying in your arms, I ain't gonna tell you.
Well, see you. Fuck that.
You gonna look? Or you gonna eat?
You called for me?
I need for you to see this.
Looks like a no-brainer.
What does that mean?
No brain.
Scooped clean out of her skull.
Oh. I don't know what to say. But don't.. don't...
Dont' tell me. Liquifactive necrosis.
Do you think? - I'm sure.
Thank you, that'll be all.
Did you know she was back in town?
No.
I didn't.
What happened to her?
I don't know baby.
I thought you stopped seeing each other.
Oh yeah.
Yes, you have now. She's fucking dead.
I mean we stopped before.
I haven't talked to her in a while.
But you've written each other.
Here and there.
But nothing.
What are you doing?
Let me see your last three messages.
You have no right ... - I don't?
I don't have a right?
Show it to me.
No.
Now that's just to take the sting off.
Show it to me.
No please.
Show it to me.
Now let's see how fast your friends work.
It's pretty fast.
Ah what do I know, my love?
Exactly.
That you're a cheating
lying
... sack.
I didn't want to hurt you.
But you did.
Because..
You're insane.
And I was afraid.
Of what you might do. To me.
And to our son.
I'm the mother of your son.
And after this one
I'll never see you again.
Block.
What?
You've gotta see this.
I'll be right there.
Where the hell are the bodies?
That's what we wanted to show you.
They are gone.
They didn't just get up and walk out, did they?
What a fucker.
Somebody take care of this perp for me before I fucking kill him.
What the hell is going on? - He was causing a ruckus over at Skip's place.
So I cuffed him.
The son of a bitch bit my goddamn finger off.
Quit your hollering and get yourself a goddamn bandaid.
I'm not exaggerating, using colorful speech, Sheriff!
He bit my finger clean off.
Fucking shit.
Get him.
Book him.
Cause I'll fucking kill him if I have to do it.
Carlos. Go get him.
Wray.
You stay put.
Are you sure he is in there?
He was.
Motherfucker.
He's gone.
Broke out the window.
Where's my finger?
Found your ring.
Could be the same guy as your leg snatcher?
I didn't get a good look at mine.
Is that him over there?
Wray?
No. Don't touch him. - Why not?
He is infected.
What? - Everything.
Wray!
Drop the fucking gun.
Where the fuck do you think you're going?
I'm gonna go and get Cherry.
Fine.
But we're taking my car.
I'm riding with you.
Don't make any sudden moves.
Viral infections.
They came pouring in.
Some are rapidly developing colophony lesions.
Highly contagious.
What do you think?
Self-preservation comes to mind.
Yeah. Just get the hell out of here.
First let me get my wife.
I love you, sweety.
There you go.
Come on. Come on. Open up. Yeah.
I want you to be around for a while. You understand?
Why don't you.. chekin' out that.. Khh.
Damn.
Mom.
You fart like a goddam pack mule.
I hate to do this to you, Earl. But we need every man on the job.
The shit has hit the fan.
We need some guns and ammo. Meet me at my brother's.
I got you. I'll be there.
Gotta eat quick, sweetie. Come on.
Oh my God!
Hell is going on?
Are you gonna give me a gun?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Palomita.
Get up. We're leaving.
I can't walk.
So what?
Get up. Get up!
Motherfucker.
Look at me.
I was gonna be a stand up comedian.
Who's gonna laugh now?
Some of the best jokes are about cripples.
Let's go. - It's not funny. It's pathetic.
Would you stop crying over fucking...
...spilt milk.
I have no leg.
Now you do.
What do you think?
You could carry me, Wray?
You never wanted that before.
Why start now.
Sheriff must have taken the others to JT's.
Get in.
God damn it. Wait for me.
My leg stuck with the door.
It's just wagging.
It's splintering.
You just leave it alone.
Why is this happening with me?
Just do me a favour right now.
Stay strong.
Stay?
Yeah baby.
Stay.
Okey. My name is Electra.
Fucking listen.
My name is Electra. My name is Electra, too.
No. You're getting personal, Dada.
It's Berry.
No, I'm lovin ya.
No.
Is that Berry you want?
And from Electra and from Emilia.
Doesn't makes any fucking sense..
You can call me whatever the fuck you want. I don't give a shit.
Conio, chica.
You said 10. - I'm sorry.
We can't be watching your kid all god damn night.
Your friend never showed up and we got shit to do.
That's right.
Then start doing it.
Hurry. We're leaving.
Wait. My tarantula.
Forget. Let's go.
And my turtle.
And my scorpion.
And we're not octopuses. We can't carry everything.
Act upon it.
C'mon. Let's go.
Tony. What did I tell you?
You can't bring them all. Didn't I tell you that?
It's okay. They can live in the same tank.
What about my pocket-bike?
It's in the trunk.
Where do you think you're going fucking bitch?
Are you sure you're gonna do this?
Everybody grab a badge and a gun!
You're all deputies as of this moment forward.
Except for you, Wray.
Don't die for me.
What have we got?
Something's wrong up there.
JT always comes out and greets.
Let's go.
Why don't just shoot yourselves?
Don't shoot each other.
But especially...
Don't shoot me.
JT?
God.
Get off him, Rusty.
God-damn, JT.
Barbecue?
Asshole.
Damn good sausage, JT.
Best in Texas.
I must have passed out after I killed those things.
Nice shooting.
Everybody gather up supllies.
We head up to any.
I want you to open that for mommy.
Now take the gun.
Careful.
And if anyone comes to the door..
... that isn't me
I want you to shoot them, okay?
I'm not kidding, Tony.
You shoot them.
Just like your video games.
You shoot them in the head.
What if it's Dad?
Expecially if it's your dad.
And be careful where you point that thing.
You'll blow your own face off.
I'll be right back.
I love you.
Hello, baby.
Look what you did to our son!
Goddam it. I told you I didn't want to see you again.
Daddy.
Get your sorry ass in.
If it's escape vwhicles you want
Escape vehicles I got. Right this way.
Watch that meat.
Meet my wife.
Jessy James custom dominator.
I made Jessy a plate of barbecue so God damn good
Ha made this baby for me free of fucking charge.
Got anything that can transport more people?
Mustang.
This baby is chopped. Promanent.
Ain't got no bullbar, chickenwire, none of that shit.
No protection. - And she's fast.
Nitrous injected 350 horsepower engine.
Who are you?
I mean really.
Wray's Wreckage?
That's what it says on your truck.
Are you a wrecker, Wray?
I'm nobody.
It's the easiest thing to remember.
So remember it.
Hey, you want some barbecue?
Best in Texas.
No thanks.
What's the matter? You don't eat meat?
Oh, I eat meat.
I also eat lots of shit.
See this?
What's that?
Shit eating grin.
You've got to be a comedian.
What do you think of the leg?
Your leg is funny.
How is your stump?
They knocked it out something fierce.
So I can't feel a thing.
This must be the real Bone Shack.
Old JT knows how to live.
Like fuck he does.
I like how you say fuck.
Dude. Fuck you.
Fuck me.
Oh, so now you're the comedian.
Go ahead. Drop your pants.
That will be good for a laugh.
I highly doubt that.
That's my jacket.
Yes. I know.
I looked for it for two weeks.
Look.
You were being an unbelievable dick.
I was walking out on you.
I was cold. I took your fucking jacket.
So.
If you're gonna go on with your psycho-obssessive-controlling rants
about a fucking jacket then fucking take it
cause I'd rather fucking freeze than fucking hear about it one more time.
Did you find what was in the pocket?
Fuck now.
Look for it.
No. The other one.
I was gonna give it to you. But you left me.
And you took the jacket.
And I looked for it 2 weeks.
Read it.
Two against the world.
Remember that?
I never forgot it.
Why did you leave?
Because you didn't believe in us.
Or in me.
I'm sorry.
Dumbass. - You're gonna be all right.
Come on.
Move that! Come on.
Are you all right?
What did I tell you, Tony?
Don't point the gun at yourself.
Didn't I tell you that?
Thank you for telling me about.
You know.
Don't mention it.
That's an order.
If I had known that you were...
El Wray
I wouldn't have given you such a hard time.
Didn't mean to be a prick about it.
Need to know basis, that kind of shit.
Take this.
Do what you do best.
No. You're not.
Don't give him the gun.
Give him that gun, Tolo.
Give him that gun.
Give him all the guns.
That boy's got the devil in him.
Get to fight. Come on.
Get to our vehicles.
Everyone behind me.
Outside now.
God damn you!
Everybody back inside.
You, Skip!
Front and center.
Go upfront. Start up the Kill Dozer.
We need it to transport the other survivors.
You're fucking crazy? I'm not going out there.
I'll cover you. - Not going.
I never miss.
Come on, Skip.
It's go go.
Not cry cry.
Cherry!
Oh, children.
JT.
You take whoever you can fit in your convertible.
Everyone else on board.
Skip, grab the twins. Come on with me.
You take the chopper.
I need someone else to drive my truck. - I'll do it.
You're bleeding like a stuck pig.
If your vision's blurred, you're on your last flight.
Anything else?
Don't wreck it.
It ain't no barbecue without coleslaw.
Take this.
Fuckin' cool.
I can take care of myself.
Bye, Daddy.
You remember how to ride a bike?
Useless talent number 32.
Good.
Anyone else have a car?
Are you sure you're okey driving this van?
Hell yeah.
Dakota!
Your engine is shot you've got three blown tires.
But it's got his pocket-bike in the trunk.
Is it fast? - Zero to fifty in four seconds.
You go with her.
I'm Cherry.
You sure are.
Move out.
Damn machine.
Goddammit!
Sheriff?
How much ammo we got?
Not enough.
Don't shoot. We're not infected.
All survivors gotta come with us.
Especially you.
El Wray.
I don't go by that name anymore.
It's okey.
We're here in quarantine with the other survivors.
Where is here?
Field Army Base.
El Wray?
That you?
He's with them. I saw him in the convoy earlier.
I'm a scientist.
And a businessman.
Not military.
Princess wise is gonna tell us what the fuck is going on.
They are stealing biochemical weapons.
DC2?
Also known as Project Terror.
Designed to take out an entire populace in a controlled land locked area.
And you were supplying it to them?
So why'd they shut you out?
They've found my supply.
It's under our feet.
Ten storeys down.
The only treatment is a regimented exposure to DC-2 itself.
Delays the negative effects.
They need it.
Like a drug.
Correct.
But we found that a small percentage of people are not affected by the gas itself.
And within this small percentage lies a cure.
What do you wanna do?
Mexico.
Put our backs against the ocean.
And defend ourselves from there.
No. We have to get back to my lab.
This infection will spread all over the world.
To every man, woman and child...
Unless I finish my antidote.
You have an antidote?
You.
Come with us.
Move it.
Do you like Ava Gardner?
Sorry?
Ava Gardner.
Do you like her?
Yeah, I guess.
I'm just thinking that you ...
... kinda look like Ava Gardner a little bit.
You've got something you wanna say to me?
I have nothing to say to you.
You've nothing to say huh? That's funny.
Cause I coulda swear you just give me a fuck you look great now.
You wanna say Fuck You to me?
Not at this moment.
You know what this is?
A gun?
It's simplicity itself.
You see you point it at what you want to die.
And you pull the little trigger here.
And a little bullet comes out here.
And the bullet hits you right there.
And you know what?
You don't look like Ava Gardner no more.
Don't taunt me, tramp.
I am not one to be taunted.
You got it?
Let me hear you say, " I got it. "
I got it.
You're damn more better.
Salt.
Get it. I figured out it's salt.
Blood is salty.
That's all my sauce needed which is little more salt.
Just needed a little thickening agent. You know what I'm talking about.
What are you doing JT?
That's all I got to do to put a little more salt in.
To do the same goddamn thing that blood did.
I'm telling you, my brothers. That little bit of blood did the trick.
Don't do nothing stupid, JT. I got it covered.
It's already got my sweat. It's got my tears. Now all it needs is some blood.
Drop the gun.
JT?
Do it now.
Don't shoot.
JT you all right?
He's all right, bro.
God damn but I'm not all right at all, brother.
Not at all.
Wait here.
I sure will.
Goddam sauce.
Women in cages.
See them in action.
See them in love.
See them in terror.
White skin on the black market.
Soft flash for hard cash.
Women in cages.
I'm gonna get my dick wet.
She's got one leg.
Easier access.
Good point.
Get the rest of the shit upsters then we'll blow this entre floor.
Get Lewis down here.
He's getting his dick wet, Sir.
Get him the fuck down here now.
Lewis.
Listen.
Where are my men?
I've got several right here.
What the fuck is this?
Their balls, sweetheart.
Come on. Get out of here with the shit, Wray.
Let us go. - Tell me why we should.
Because I earned it.
How you figure that?
You want the story?
I spin it for you quick.
Turmoil in some nasty caves on the Afghan border.
Me and my men walking around with our dicks in our hands.
Our balls in or throats.
Looking for America's most wanted.
Bin Laden - Yeah.
For once I ran towards right on the money.
I come around a corner.
Bam. There he is looking me right in the eyes.
Wait.
You killed Bin Laden?
I put two in his heart.
One in his computer.
So that was you.
Yeah.
That was me.
He wasn't supposed to be there.
We weren't supposed to be there.
And I sure as fuck wasn't supposed to be the one who punches #&& ticket.
So instead of a chestful of medals we got a face full of DC2.
No cure.
There is none till we find somebody from the other side
... willing to sell us batches of this shit.
Science comes first. But business comes a close fucking second.
Then you realized if you could infect a large enough populace
and experiment on its survivals
You'd find a cure.
I swore to my men that I'd do everything in my power to keep them alive.
That's what I intend to do, Wray.
Understand...
... I never had a choice.
Neither do I, sir.
God bless you and your service to this country.
Are you a doctor?
I was earlier tonight.
I always wanted to be a doctor.
Instead, I can do this.
Ah, useless talent No. 66.
I'm very pliable.
A girlfriend of mine had a theory.
She said at some point in your life
You find a use for every useless talent you've ever had.
It's like connecting the dots.
I'm not that optimistic.
I feel like I'm sinking down the drain and I can't get out.
She'd say
When you're stuck in that spiral
You reach up.
What if there's nothing up there.
Just reach up.
You're a dancer.
I was earlier tonight.
Well, I'm pulling you out of retirement.
I'm starting the entertainement, baby. And that means you.
Radio.
Well, baby. Now.
That's what I'm talking about.
Keep dancing.
I have seen me some crazy ass shit in my day.
But I ain't never seen me a one-legged stripper.
I've seen me a stripper with one breast.
And I've seen me a stripper with twelve toes.
And I've seen me a stripper with no brains at all.
But I ain't never seen me a one-legged stripper.
And I'll bet them rock.
Dance bitch!
Pick a leg.
Break it off.
Dance for me, motherfucker.
You thought it was pretty funny, didn't you?
Actually, yes.
You gave me some wood?
Now I'm gonna give you some...
... fucking wood.
The Gas! You need your gas!
Fucking gas. Fuck it!
I'm just gonna have to make this quick.
Where did you get that?
Useless talent No. 37.
I broke my leg. - Okey.
I made you something.
I do believe in you.
I always have.
I believe that you can be better.
You deserve better.
Even better than me.
Right now..
I need you to become..
Who you were meant to be.
Stand.
One stuck here.
Open that door, will you baby?
We've destroyed most of the tanks.
Any that are left we'll get on our way to the helicopters.
There are two helicopters.
Big enough to take all of us.
Who can fly?
Can anyone else fly a helicopter?
I can fly, but... No way in hell I'm gonna fly on that.
Okey. Cool. I'll fly.
I think we're gonna stay here, Wray.
Take care of this for me then, sheriff.
With pleasure.
Two minutes.
Brother's a good man, JT.
Best in Texas.
I'm coming.
No. The other way.
No.
The other way.
The helicopters are on the other side of this wall.
We make a run for it.
No. If we all get killed, there's no stopping this plague.
Don't you get it?
We're the antidote.
Was there another way around?
Wait here.
I suppose there are any other biochemical engineers around?
I think there is no.
We have to get over that wall.
I was thinking we could build us a new place.
Right there where the old one was.
You cook. I work the back.
You don't make that rent so goddamn high.
Share the recipe.
We'll share the rent.
Start at 250 degrees.
I knew it.
For how long? - For about ...
Twelve pounds.
Twelve hours.
Wrapped in tinfoil, right?
I don't use no goddamn foil.
Damn.
Tomatos? Fresh?
Canned.
No shit? - Yeah.
Score me some? - Oh, yeah.
Cause we're brothers.
Thank you for this.
You just remember.
You gotta take this recipe to your grave.
I think I can goddamn guarantee that.
That's our cue.
Cherry, darling.
Follow you.
Let's go.
Wray!
Come on now, Wray.
Okay.
Can you do that? Cause we're leaving.
They told me I'd find you here.
I was beginning to lose hope.
I'm sorry.
But I lied.
I did want to hurt you.
My turn.
No more dead bodies for Daddy tonight.
Never liked that son of a btich.
Was as useless as a pecker on a pope.
Don't touch anything.
He said not to touch anything.
Shut up.
Sit down and don't fucking touch anything.
Everybody sit down.
Go. Leave me.
I am not leaving you here like this.
Motherfuckers around here eat roadkill.
You see?
I'm funny.
I made you laugh.
Go to the ocean.
Put your backs to it, protect yourselves there.
I'm not leaving you Wray.
Two against the world.
Two will be.
I promise.
I never miss.
Don't worry, baby.
You'll find your way.
It's like you said it would be, Wray.
I'm like you said I would be.
I find the lost.
The weary.
Those who have no hope.
I find them.
And I lead them.
To a land we've made for ourselves.
To a land by the sea.
It's beautiful.
She's beautiful.
I wish you could see us.
Us two.
It's like you said it would be.
Two against the world baby.
Two against the world.
This film is a brilliant achievement in motion picture history.
Finally, the truth about Hitler's diabolical plans to create a race of superwomen can be told...
Werewolf Women of the S.S.
Welcome to Death Camp 13.
Home of the Nazis' diabolical plan.
To create an army of super werewolf soldiers.
This project, its failure will be your demise...
...and the end of Germany, Borman.
You have been chosen.
Rejoice.
They have found the perfect solution.
The She-Devils of Belzac.
Can they alone supply the blood needed to save Hitler's mad dreams
or with the pride of Germany fall into ruin?
This is my project.
We are now in total control of your whoop.
Featuring Udo Kier
Sheri Moon Zombie
Tom Towles... etc.
If you..
are thinking
of going
into
this house
If you ...
are thinking
of opening
this door
If you...
are thinking
of checking out
the basement
Don't look behind.
Don't look in there.
Don't look up.
Don't look anywhere.
Don't scream for help.
Don't even breathe.
Timing & Text by Bodza
If you are thinking of seeing this film alone.
In the town of Plymoth, Massachusetts
The 4th Thursday in November is the most celebrated day in the year.
The table is set.
The festivities have begun.
For the uninvited guests to arrive.